Can I get a rewind? Overthinking every social interaction.
Imagine: You’re at a social event, clinging to your drink like it’s a life raft, nodding enthusiastically at someone’s story about their boyfriend’s cousin’s dog’s wheat sensitivity. Cue all the important questions: Am I laughing too loudly? Am I giving enough eye contact? Do I look interested? If you can relate to this, you’re not alone. In Australia, approximately 11% of people experience social anxiety disorder at some point in their lives.
Rewind, Replay, Regret
Social anxiety is a persistent, sometimes paralysing, fear of judgement or rejection in social situations. When you’ve got social anxiety, it’s like every conversation becomes an instant replay in your brain. You’re watching a movie of your life, only it’s stuck on the one scene where you accidentally said “you too” to the waiter after they told you to enjoy your meal. Your brain hits rewind, you run through the scene again and conclude that yep, everyone is judging you.
Social anxiety will always gift you with a hefty dose of self-doubt. Every time you step into a room, social anxiety makes you ask “Do I belong here? Am I competent enough? Do people actually like me?” This is often accompanied with a host of physical symptoms: a racing heart, sweaty palms, dry mouth, and sometimes panic attacks.
Plot twist: Avoidance makes anxiety stronger, not weaker
One of the most profound impacts of social anxiety is avoidance. Over time, the fear of judgment can lead to withdrawing from opportunities - personal, professional, and social. Invitations are declined, ideas are left unspoken, and potential connections fade before they begin. The world grows smaller and more isolated because social anxiety has set the perimeter.
While avoidance works in the short term, in the long term it will only worsen social anxiety. Every time you avoid a social situation, your brain learns that the situation is something to be feared, reinforcing the belief that it’s dangerous. This creates a cycle where the more you avoid, the more the anxiety intensifies, making future interactions feel even more overwhelming.
Can you give me some good news?
Social anxiety is actually one of the most treatable forms of anxiety, and exposure therapy is the key to overcoming it. The basic idea behind exposure is simple: by gradually confronting social situations you teach your brain that these experiences aren’t as scary as it believes. Over time, you build tolerance and confidence, and social situations become less intimidating. With practice, your brain rewires itself to stop seeing them as threats. At the end of the day, showing up - even awkwardly - will be the most powerful tool in your arsenal.
