Domestic Abuse

Therapy for Survivors of Domestic Abuse

Whether it happened recently or years ago, domestic abuse can leave deep marks. Not just bruises, but the kind that settle in your nervous system, your sense of self, and your ability to trust. Domestic abuse isn’t always black and white. It can be subtle, manipulative, confusing.

You might be wondering:
“Was it really abuse?”
“Why didn’t I leave sooner?”
“Why do I still feel so stuck, scared, or ashamed?”

These are the exact questions abuse teaches us to ask. Abuse tries to make you small. Therapy helps you take up space again.

What Domestic Abuse Can Look Like

Domestic abuse doesn’t always look like violence. You don’t need bruises or police reports to “qualify” for support. Abuse can be loud, or invisible to everyone but you.

You may have experienced:

  • Constant criticism, control, or manipulation

  • Gaslighting — making you doubt your own memory or sense of reality

  • Monitoring your phone, spending, movements, or friendships

  • Coercion around sex, parenting, or your body

  • Explosive outbursts followed by intense apologies or blame

  • Isolation from family and friends

  • Physical intimidation, threats, or actual violence

  • “Walking on eggshells” all the time

You might not have had a word for it at the time. Now you do.

After Abuse

Even if you’re out of the relationship, the effects can linger long after.

You might be dealing with:

  • Flashbacks or nightmares

  • Anxiety or hypervigilance — always scanning for danger

  • Difficulty trusting others (or yourself)

  • Guilt, shame, self-blame

  • Emotional numbness or confusion

  • A lost sense of who you are or what you want

  • Grieving the parts of the relationship that felt real or loving

Every survivor’s journey is different, and there’s no “right” timeline. Here are some of the things we might explore together:

What Healing Might Look Like

Rebuilding Safety

Abuse teaches your brain and body to expect danger. Therapy can help you feel safe. Not just physically, but emotionally, relationally, and within yourself.

Untangling Shame & Self-Blame

You might still be asking: “Was it my fault?” or “Did I provoke it?”
Therapy helps you understand how control and fear rewired your sense of self, and offers gentleness where blame once lived.

Understanding Trauma Responses

Fawning, freezing, hyper-independence, dissociation — these are survival strategies. Not character flaws.

Reclaiming Boundaries & Self-Trust

We’ll work on setting boundaries that feel good, not punishing, and rebuild trust in your own instincts, choices, and voice.

Grieving the Good Parts

Yes, there may have been love, laughter, or hope. You’re allowed to grieve that.
You don’t have to hate someone in order to heal from the harm they caused.

A Note on Healing

You don’t have to be “fully healed” to start building a life that feels good. You don’t have to be calm all the time. Or forgiving. Or grateful. You can be angry, conflicted, numb, hopeful, scared. You can be in-process. That’s allowed here.

If You’re Wondering If This Page Is for You

It is.
Even if you’re not sure what happened.
Even if no one else believed you.
Even if part of you still loves them.
Even if you stayed longer than you wish you had.

You are allowed to get support. You are allowed to take up space.
You are allowed to build something new.

 FAQs

  • No. You don’t have to leave the relationship to receive support. Many people begin therapy while they’re still unsure, ambivalent, or navigating practical barriers. Therapy can help you build clarity, safety, and self-trust, wherever you are in the process.

  • Abuse can be emotional, psychological, financial, verbal, spiritual, sexual, or controlling in other ways. If something in your relationship made you feel unsafe, isolated, or afraid, it counts. You don’t have to “prove” it was bad enough to get help.

  • Not at all. Shame is a normal response after abuse, and it often keeps people quiet. Therapy is a non-judgemental space to explore those feelings with compassion. You did what you needed to survive, and you deserve support.

  • Yes. The effects of abuse can linger long after the relationship ends. Therapy can help you process what happened, reconnect with your sense of safety, and shift patterns shaped by past trauma, whether it’s been weeks, years, or decades.

  • No. You are always in control of what happens in therapy. I will support your choices and help you explore your options, but never pressure you into action you’re not ready for.

  • That’s okay. Trauma often impacts memory. You don’t need to have a perfect narrative or remember all the details for therapy to be helpful.

  • Yes. Abuse can affect anyone. I work affirmatively with LGBTQIA+ clients, as well as people in non-traditional relationships or who’ve experienced abuse in queer, trans, or neurodivergent contexts.

  • Absolutely. While we may begin with a focus on abuse or trauma, you’re welcome to bring in anything else that feels relevant. Anxiety, identity, relationships, eating patterns, self-worth. Your story is more than what happened to you.

Say Hello

Got questions, doubts, or a million tabs open? You’re welcome to get in touch.